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Dry Sharm Dos and Don'ts: Day BoatingDo get on to the top deck as soon as you get on the boat. Once there, put your towel on the floor at the stern (the blunt end). This is prime tanning territory. If you can do this within five seconds of getting aboard, then you will beat the Germans. However if you are a bloke, forget it. You will never beat the girls to this spot. They can do it in three seconds.Do put your shoes in that box always located behind the stairs up to the top deck. At the end of the day, local tradition tells us that you can take any two shoes with you when leaving. Then laugh at the last bloke off the boat walking to his minibus in a green Croc and a pink K-Swiss trainer. Do remember that the free coffee on board is free for a reason. Arabic Nescafe in those little sachets is in fact all the unsold Mellow Birds from the 1970s simply repackaged. Even the Russians don’t drink it, so it ends up on boats where divers are too sea-sick to notice the difference. The milk is from goats - just look at the picture on the side of the squeezy carton. Do call the captain Mohammed. Or variations thereof. M'hmed. Mo-dude. BigMo. If he is not called that then he is either lying or has forgotten his own name and made one up to impress you. If he does not have a moustache then he is not sea-worthy. To read the rest of this article, you'll need to get your hands on Tanked Up Magazine. It's free. What are you waiting for? |
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