CREW
The people who slaved to bring you Tanked Up Magazine... |
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So the arrival of her young daughter has kept
her busy and she's only been in the water to
get her little 'un swimming. Yes, at 5 months
Juliet's baby is happily dipping underwater
and splashing around. She will merrily bounce
on a lap watching Tim Ecott's "Martin Clunes
– Man to Manta" that was on television the
night she made her entry into the world.
Think a trip down to Dive Fest next year is
on the cards as hopefully there will be a few
babysitters around.
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Having realised there must be more to life than crisps and the chronic fortunes of Sheffield Wednesday, it has come to Rob's attention that he was probably put here in order to spy on earthlings in the guise of one of them, and act as a telepathic information conduit for his alien brethren. Any signals intercepted by these brethren of late will have largely concerned themselves with crisps and the chronic fortunes of Sheffield Wednesday.
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Andy's passion for chefery is matched
only by his reckless disregard for the
environment. If there were a petition
to world leaders to speed up climate
change whilst destroying all marine
ecosystems, Andy would immediately
take time out from pouring crude oil and
greenhouse gases into the ocean in
order to ensure his was the first signature
on it. Andy owns the Tante Marie School
of Cookery with Gordon Ramsay and
Lyndy Redding, one of whom taught him
swearing.
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Kay Svoronos was a cartoonist for Disney
(Walt, not Dave) before being abducted
by Tyson who used her for nefarious,
inhuman (and inpiscine) purposes.
Mainly the chronicling of his exploits
that the world might be party to his
infamy. Some regard him as being akin
to Richard III in his devotion to evil, others
merely consider him a chav. Revisionists
have claimed that Kay is actually the
secret cause of this delinquency, but they
generally recant after a headbutt.
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Many people believe that diving
and dentistry are subjects best kept
separate, but nothing could be further
from the truth. Well, some things could
be. Like if you were to say the molecular
composition of air is mechanically-sorted
Brighton. Anyway, in Fulham, the
concepts of subaquatia and enamel
coated protuberances from human jaws
are regularly combined in the clinic of a
certain singing South African. Just don't
ask her to fin pivot at the same time. It
could hurt.
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When the technology is developed to
take mankind to the oceans of methane
that lie on Saturn's largest moon, Titan,
Paul Toomer will be the one teaching
people how to dive in them. And if it
transpires that caves lie beneath the
surface of those hydrocarbon seas, it will
be mere minutes before their entrances
are littered with lines from Paul's myriad
reels. The -180°C surface temperature
won't be a problem either because his
drysuit has a heated undershirt.
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